Letter to the Crows

I CAN. NOT. STAND. CROWS. I seriously believe there should be a cull of you, you loud, nasty flying rats. You are downright mean, attacking people, other birds and small animals. And you abound everywhere. Currently a large segment of your population has taken up living in the trees street on my street. The noise you make is both annoying and creepy. I’d rather hear motorcycles and sirens than your aggravating squawking. I admit, you do happen to scare me, as I was once attacked by one your kind. And I don’t mean it just swooped around me. I mean this thing got its claw on my shoulder and pecked me in the head – hard! I realize creatures you like to protect their young, but really now, if I’m not actually approaching your bloody nest to abscond off with your stupid little baby bird, they BACK. THE. FUCK. OFF! And stop trying to steal food from seagulls. Stop grabbing food right out of the hands of people on the beach. Stop attacking the little birds who are helpless against you. And stop making so much fucking noise! We hear you and we aren’t interested in you or your young in’s!