Sunday, February 17, 2008

The Mexican Diaries: The (Communal) Speedo

(Photo - Jeffrey! Jeffrey! Jeffrey! That speedo is inside out! Jeffrey! Jeffrey! Jeffrey!)

Okay, I know you are all dying to hear about the infamous communal speedo. But first I would like to note that my last entry (Wasting Away the Days) was my 100th post on this blog! Unfortunately there was no great fanfare, confetti did not fall from my ceiling, there were no bells and game show music and I did not suddenly win a grand prize. So, I'm just giving myself some kudos for writing 100 little antedotes over the past year and a half and shall expect some fanfare from my readers!

But back to the speedo. Ah the speedo. That little garment for men that makes us all wonder why it is still even in production. Unless you are an Olympic swimmer, it seems to me there is no need for the speedo. Men, just let us just use our imaginations to wonder what may lie beneath your shorts. We don't need a full preview while you prance around the beach or pool. Really. We don't. However...

For laughs the speedo can provide much entertainment, as it did in Mexico. First, a bit of background for you all, as to how the speedo came to enter our vacation. Apparently Jeff, known for his love of taking it off after a few drinks, and upon booking his trip to Mexico, decided it would be great fun to prance out to the pool in a speedo one day as if nothing was out of he ordinary, just for kicks and giggles. I guess Jeff realized that although the cost of showing up poolside in a speedo would be priceless, the actual cost of the speedo was, well, not priceless. Enter the Manzanillo Wal Mart. While shopping at Wal Mart one morning (again, priceless itself) Cindy, Kyndra and Rhonda came upon a rack of speedos. Obviously it was meant to be. A speedo was purchased and the rest is history...


First speedo appearance. We are on a boat cruise, hanging out in a quiet little cove, just the 8 of us, floating on floaties and life jackets, empyting an enormous cooler of beer as well as our own mixed cocktails. The speedo is on board. Eventually the speedo is on Jeff (inside out mind you!) and we are getting quite the show (see picture above). There is some initial hamming it up and posing for the camera and then a most graceful dive into our private ocean. Well, you had to be there, but it was indeed hilarious and just plain "eeewwww" all that the same time. No offense Jeff, but those things just don't have any way of being attractive! So, a good laugh all around and the speedo is put away.


Second speedo appearance. We return from our 8 hour boat trip, leaving an empty cooler and no more cocktails. The speedo is with us. We decide that we may as well continue the party poolside (I'm sure to the chagrin of our bartender, who was probably happy to have us gone all day!). At this point Mike decides that he should really try the speedo. Why this is, I'm not quite sure. Is this some sort of secret guy fantasy that I don't know about? Well, on goes the speedo and we get a performance from Mike. The speedo is now taking on a life of it's own.


Third speedo appearance. The speedo now comes everywhere. On Super Bowl day, Steve is being encourage to get the speedo on. A bet is made...if the his team loses, he'll don the speedo. He's confident he's not going to have to put that thing on. Oh, sorry, your team loses (ha ha ha). Speedo time! So, the afternoon after Super Bowl, we are on him with the speedo. He's a bit shy I think and he's resisting. But a bet's a bet and we're not letting him off the hook. So...on goes the speedo and he's in and out the pool and out of that speedo in record time (save for the time spent looking for his wedding ring, which fell off whilst diving into the pool, and which was found, but did take away from the fun of it all).

Everyone is now being encouraged to wear the speedo. Once again, I'm not sure if it is some secret male fantasy or what, but now Dave WANTS to wear the speedo. This is both so wrong and so funny, us girls can't stand it. How many people are going to put this thing on????


Fourth speedo appearance. We have the speedo in our room on the second to last night. Dave really wants to wear this I guess. I'm looking at it thinking this thing has got to be a little rank at this point! But whatever... So on our last day, Dave dons the speedo under his shorts (okay, ya, he's actually wearing this thing for more than a few minutes!) Not to be outdone by anyone, he eventually puts on his own little strip show, flashing the speedo and like the rest of them, posing for the cameras before hitting the water. I look on with utter adornement at my man in a speedo. (you are hearing the sarcasm here, right?).

Eventually the speedo is removed, placed on a lounge chair and left behind as we leave our vacation behind. That poor speedo. I now wonder what has happened to it. Was it tossed away or has it been adopted by other vactioners who, like us, think it is an extremely funny poolside prop? And if it was adopted, how many people have squeezed into it and has anyone at least washed it?

5 comments:

  1. okay, so I have just arrived at my office (7:20 a.m.)and being the modern, single woman I am, I am always looking for some nice "man" eye candy to gaze upon......so okay guys bring on the swimming trunks!!!!! I am not sure if there was too little or too much for my eyes to gaze upon!!!

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  2. I'm reading this eating my breakfast and now feeling rather ill, ha, ha! There are too many things wrong with this story so I won't even begin... However, would've been hilarious to be there!

    CONGRATULATIONS on your 100th post!!!! WOOHOOOO! YAHOO!! GIDDY UP!! And much applause. Thanks for keeping us all entertained for the last year and a half!!

    xooox

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  3. Well, congrats on you 100th post!! I am honored that I am part of the story that made said 100th post. And damn!! If I were near a Wal-Mart, there would've been confetti and balloons and party hats! lol

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  4. Aw geez, Ange! So not fair..I clicked on your blog and was greeted with various photos of all these speedo-clad males WITHOUT the benefit of the margaritas, pina-coladas, beers, etc that you and co. had to help digest the view. A warning would have been sooooooo appreciated.

    CONGRATS! on your 100th post! Looking forward to reading your 1000 post! (But please no more speedo images!)

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  5. ok., so, i figure all you ladies who make a post to the blog are really poking fun at us guys. All i can say, in defense of the speedo crowd...eat your heart out!!...now i'm beginning to understand why all the women watch the male swimmers at the olympics...while all along i thought they wanted to see a record breaking swim...and by the way....take note of the young lady in the picture, she appears to be totally uninterested, so whats that saying about all you "older" women...

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