(posted by Ange)
NEWS FLASH: there has been a devastating disaster in my bank account. Major bills hit the account on September 1 in a category 10 storm, leaving me more penniless than I already was. I have contacted the local government, the provincial government, the federal government, the Red Cross, Angelina and Brad, and all have turned their backs on me. They say they are busy dealing with "real" disasters and crises around the world, but I sense some sort of discrimmination here. I need Anderson Cooper to investigate and keep these people real for me! Anderson, if you're reading this...please help!!!
I have set up my own trust fund in a small container in my living room. It remains empty. If you would like to donate to this devastating turn of events, please send your cheques made out to Angela Simpson, care of my address. Food, blankets, clothing, clean water and crisis counselling are not needed. A tax receipt will not be issued, nor will a transparent accounting of how the funds are spent. I can tell you that there are no administration costs, and therefore 100% of your donations will go directly to the affected person (that's me).
I sense you are all laughing at me and that I will not be inundated with envelopes full of money in my mailbox.
Okay. How about a Run for the Cure of the Bank Account? CIBC? A Live Aid for the Bank Account Disaster Concert? Bono? Bob? A telethon for the European Funding Disaster? Tony? Sigh. I shall await to hear back, but I will not hold my breath, as I do believe I am being discrimminated against as a poor woman attempting to do something outside her means. Where is the love?
It seems I will have stick to my original plan of not shopping and waiting for Dave to move in and split the rent with me. I will however, keep you posted, in the event that CIBC, Bono, Bob or Tony hear my plea and come through for me. Your empathy is greatly appreciated, although you could do better! :)
I'm posting this comment
ReplyDeletefrom Loret (my mom)...she didn't quite realize that you can comment on each posting, and posted this on the very first post. I thought it was worth posting in the proper place, so here it is, in full:
the category 10 storm that hit your bank account also hit my bank account on Sept. 1st!!! (do you think it has anything to do with global warming???)I have also been in touch with Angelina and Brad but unfortunately they have not responded to my plea either!!! (how rude???) I am thinking the better route to go would be to contact Mr. and Mrs. Gates as they seem to be handing out money left and right these days (and indeed world travel would be a very educational proposition)It is my understanding they are very interested in educating the masses.
let me know if i can be of any other assistance other than financial (you know, like helping you decide what clothes NOT to bring).
Gary...Unforunately I do not have 51 cents for postage for you, plus the 51 cents i would need to send you the 51 cents. Perhaps you did not understand what happened. This storm completely wiped out my account. You are basically asking for a donation from me, when it is I who has been hit hard by this disaster and left alone to recover! I have not heard of any storms of this magnitude hitting Edmonton!!!
ReplyDeleteYou can save the penny though and i will get it from you when i arrive in edmonton.
Dear Loret...I tried to contact the Gates' but their "people" basically told me to f-off and quit trying to make a big deal out of "nothing". My esteem for them has dropped considerably.
ReplyDeleteThere is definitely discrimmination going on here. I will continue to try to get Anderson Cooper to fight for my cause.
Dear bbking2006: I resent your insuation that my call for help in light of the BBAD of 2006 is for my own personal gain. Calling it scandalous is an outrage and your lack of empathy towards those hit by this disaster is scandalous itself! This call for relief will benefit the destruction of my bank account, not myself personally! Obviously you are not a philanthropist. But I appreciate your outright honesty...your wife made up a long, rambling obviously fake excuse. I see who has the integrety in the family! :)
ReplyDeleteDear Brent...how dare you even suggest that I use my nephew like that!!!! Actually, it's a good idea, but I'm not sure my brother would allow it.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately in our country, we do not pay men to donate their sperm 1,000 times over, leaving the possibility of in-breeding high. Hmmm. Maybe that's what's wrong with your president. Anyways, with the long border line-ups and unfriendly border agents at the U.S. side, tripping over the line for this purpose is also out.
I have been thinking of printing up "info" sheets and hitting the street, begging for money for my charity, as many of the big charities here are now doing. Talk about shameless!!!!